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Groundrules
SPA’s bywords are straightforward: privacy,
confidentiality, and mutual respect. We don’t engage in gay bashing or anything
homophobic. Each member is responsible for upholding the groundrules, thereby
creating a positive atmosphere at meetings and when they contact members via
email or phone.
Operationalising these principles may throw up
some challenges from time to time and it’s hoped that the groundrules will help
to prevent them in the first place or deal with them if they occur.
Membership
The group membership is open to straight people
over the age of 18, who are or have been in a relationship with a gay, lesbian,
or bisexual person. The relationship could be marriage, living together, or
dating.
Meetings
Janice hopes to organise monthly meetings in a
public place i.e. a pub or restaurant, where people can relax. Please email
Janice, via the website, for the venue, date, and time.
Social events may be organised from time to time,
and details will be posted on the website. SPA has no budget for this (or
anything else!) so members will be expected to pay their own way.
Fees
Meetings are free. However, members could
purchase food or drink if they wish or to bring their own picnic.
From time to time, Janice may invite a guest
speaker to the group and it would be appropriate to reimburse their traveling
expenses at a rate of 35p per mile. SPA currently has no budget for this, and
members will be asked to contribute.
Conduct
Direct statements about the standards of conduct are
important. Some members, particularly if they’re new, will need assurance that
they’ll be warmly welcomed and treated with respect.
- Each
person at the meeting has the right to share as much, or as little of their identity or personal story as they
wish. Some people may want to just observe at their first, second, third (or
more) meeting and this must be respected.
- Each
person will have the right to speak openly and honestly.
- Nobody
has the right to hog the floor.
- Nobody
has the right to bully anybody else.
- Nobody
has the right to pry if somebody has indicated they don’t wish to
discuss a certain issue.
- Gay
bashing won’t be tolerated at all. However, some straight partners will be
very vulnerable and their language may become unconsciously negative. Janice will gently remind them of the groundrules.
Janice will be the arbiter on standards of conduct.
Confidentiality
Confidentiality is fundamental to the group’s
success. As far as SPA is concerned, there are two types of confidentiality:
- Confidentiality
within the group
Confidentiality within
the group will always be the first assumption. This means that personal
information or stories will always stay within the group. For example, somebody may
be in distress and the other members may discuss in a constructive and empathetic way (via email or phone) how to
help them.
- Confidentiality
between identified members
The member who wishes to
share information with other specific members will be responsible for saying
that the information must not be shared.In this instance, those members who are confided in should respect the other person's wishes.
Annual Review The groundrules will be reviewed annually unless circumstances demand otherwise.
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